Before you say anything like, "What? I think it's funny and really smart!" I want you to read the rest of this page and check out the website.

Yes, that is an ad for Sprite. Sprite, you say? Yes, Sprite. The lemon-lime soda that opens the doors at Coca-Cola's parties? But how? I have no clue.

The above sign is on the subway trains here in Stockholm and I can assure you that my attention was "grabbed" when I first saw it. What, I thought to myself, is that all about? I wondered this because of the following:

There was no product mentioned - well done Sprite. I would not have bothered to think twice if I knew the ad was for a soda.

The web address was in English - but ended with the Swedish country code of .se. Just about anything can happen when they do that.

Being that this type of thing was pretty much the reason I got an iPhone (that and taking pictures of this type of thing) I hurried to the sellyourmother.se website. What could it be? I'd been reeled in and I needed to know. What happened next can be taken two ways. If you believe in Steve Jobs you would say, "What a bunch of morons." If you don't, you would say, "Stupid Steve Jobs." You see, the website is entirely built in Flash and not viewable on the iPhone. (To be honest here, I'm pretty sure most cellphones would not be able to view the website. Which makes one wonder just how smart it was for Sprite to advertise heavily on a subway where people would be using a cellphone to view the site. Ahhh doiiii.) Anyways, I had to wait till I got home to see just what the hell was up with this site. At this time I was still unaware that Sprite was behind it.

10 minutes later

Home. To computer. Type in domain. Site comes up. What the F. It's best if you just hit up the link above, that would save me having to explain it. BUT, here's the deal. You can umm...win prizes by uploading a picture of your mother - if your mother gets the most votes you win a new MacBook (ironic) and your mother wins a spa holiday (why don't they get a MacBook?). By participating you also receive a cellphone voucher for a free Sprite (more irony). Weekly prizes are less exciting. Mom wins a $30 gift certificate and you win some ugly ass Reeboks - seriously they have Iron Maiden stuff on them.

I don't actually know where the selling comes in. The site is really confusing and it has way too much going on. But, you can get free Sprite so I guess it's not all bad. Hopefully my mom doesn't mind me entering her so that I can win that MacBook. I think the picture of her giving money to a guy dressed up like Darth Vader is a sure winner.

Oh, apparently "Sprite is so good you'd sell your mother for it."

UPDATE - I have added the awesome image to the right of my mom for sale to the site. Now to just await the winnings...
VOTE FOR MY MOM HERE

Permalink    Labels: Stockholm, Wackiness, Food

There is a very peculiar issue in Sweden when it comes to spelling. I imagine something similar to it exists in other Germanic language speaking countries. Here I like to call it the compound word problem.

As with most Germanic languages Swedish uses the compound word structure when creating nouns. That means that you call a meatball a "meatball" and not a "meat ball". But you also call a chicken meatball a "chickenmeatball". The Swedish term for this problem: särskrivningsproblematik, split compound problematics, is an excellent example.

The problem is when you create separate words rather than compound ones. This poses an even greater problem as it often completely changes the intended meaning. For example "chickenliver", if written "chicken liver" in Swedish, means "the chicken lives". This is dangerous if you are referring to say frozen chicken livers. (That example is probably the oldest most worn out joke in Swedish history. The mere mention of chicken livers will more than likely provoke someone to go through the whole song and dance.) The vast amount of English present in this country has caused this type of issue to become and more common. If you want to identify with this problem as an English speaker compare "blue berries" to "blueberries" and "ham burger" to "hamburger".

On the other side of the coin, in Swedish, you also have the problem of creating compound words when the words should be separated. As the sign above on a well known English (style) pub in Stockholm shows. It is completely accurate, in Swedish, as a food lover is known as a matälskare (one word) and a öljägare (one word) is the direct translation of a beer hunter. It looks very wrong in English and is very ironic considering the bar styles itself to be an English pub and even goes so far as to have their signs in English in a non-English speaking country - and then makes a rather severe grammar mistake. This of course is a rather harmless example and most people can easily decipher the meaning of the sign. A bigger problem would be if you were taking a class that was held six times in the evening. Say a French class, because you wanted to learn the language of love and Gérard Depardieu. Then you would be speaking French on these six evenings. (You can see where this is going.) You would, however, not want to write that you were speaking French on "sexkvällar", because that is probably what Gérard Depardieu, and whoever he is together with, are doing. And you are most certainly not.

So, when to put words together and when to keep them apart. Are they together in English or are they separate? If they are separate in English should they be separate in Swedish...and vice versa or viceversa or is it vice-versa. You can see why it's a problem. For every one.

Permalink    Labels: Food, Stockholm, Wackiness

There are a lot of 7-Elevens in Stockholm. Lots. They even sell BigBites™ and other assorted sausage products. Granted they also sell a number of things you wouldn't find at your typical 7-Eleven, such as: cinnamon buns, croissants and Actimel yogurt. But, there is one HUGE difference between a Swedish 7-Eleven and (what I call) a real 7-Eleven: real 7-Elevens sell Slurpees.

Yes, it's very sad. In fact it's a travesty. I don't know what the Swedish branch of this company did to anger the owners, but revoking their Slurpee license is pretty harsh punishment. It really isn't fair to all of us who require a slush drink on a hot day.

Just look at the picture to the right. It brings a tear to the eye. In place of a Slurpee machine we have a generic "Slush" machine. (And no, they are not the same by any stretch of the imagination.) Seriously, "Slush". I'd rather have one of those Snoopy Sno-cone Machines and make my own - see inlay to left. (I freaking could, since they still sell those things. They're cheap too, only like $15 at Toys-r-us. Which they also have in Sweden, but I'd venture to say that they don't sell snow cone machines. But, that's another issue.)

I can live without the Big Gulps and the novelty lighters and other assorted crap, but I truly feel that a 7-Eleven is not a 7-Eleven without the trademark whirling Slurpee machine in the back. Arctic climate or no arctic climate, every country (with a 7-Eleven) has the right to enjoy a proper icy slush - and that does not mean a Slush Puppie™ or generic "Slush" thing.

Are we alone? No. A number of countries that have 7-Elevens are also seemingly banned from the Slurpee club. Notably Ireland, Japan, China, South Korea and Turkey.

Am I alone? No. In fact there are a lot of whiners people in Sweden who are as disgruntled about being Slurpee-less as I am. How many? Well, an on-line petition started a number of years ago (and signed by yours truly) has umm....235 signatures. Me thinks that is not enough to get the franchise owner's attention - but you get the point.

Oh well. Not much I can do really, besides spend $15,000 on a real Slurpee machine, or $100 on one of those personal ones.

So, if you're listening 7-Eleven fat cats, may it be known that I am not happy with the current situation here in Sweden and feel that my needs are not being met. Damn you.

Permalink    Labels: Stockholm, Confusion, Slurpee, Food