There are a lot of 7-Elevens in Stockholm. Lots. They even sell BigBites™ and other assorted sausage products. Granted they also sell a number of things you wouldn't find at your typical 7-Eleven, such as: cinnamon buns, croissants and Actimel yogurt. But, there is one HUGE difference between a Swedish 7-Eleven and (what I call) a real 7-Eleven: real 7-Elevens sell Slurpees.

Yes, it's very sad. In fact it's a travesty. I don't know what the Swedish branch of this company did to anger the owners, but revoking their Slurpee license is pretty harsh punishment. It really isn't fair to all of us who require a slush drink on a hot day.

Just look at the picture to the right. It brings a tear to the eye. In place of a Slurpee machine we have a generic "Slush" machine. (And no, they are not the same by any stretch of the imagination.) Seriously, "Slush". I'd rather have one of those Snoopy Sno-cone Machines and make my own - see inlay to left. (I freaking could, since they still sell those things. They're cheap too, only like $15 at Toys-r-us. Which they also have in Sweden, but I'd venture to say that they don't sell snow cone machines. But, that's another issue.)

I can live without the Big Gulps and the novelty lighters and other assorted crap, but I truly feel that a 7-Eleven is not a 7-Eleven without the trademark whirling Slurpee machine in the back. Arctic climate or no arctic climate, every country (with a 7-Eleven) has the right to enjoy a proper icy slush - and that does not mean a Slush Puppie™ or generic "Slush" thing.

Are we alone? No. A number of countries that have 7-Elevens are also seemingly banned from the Slurpee club. Notably Ireland, Japan, China, South Korea and Turkey.

Am I alone? No. In fact there are a lot of whiners people in Sweden who are as disgruntled about being Slurpee-less as I am. How many? Well, an on-line petition started a number of years ago (and signed by yours truly) has umm....235 signatures. Me thinks that is not enough to get the franchise owner's attention - but you get the point.

Oh well. Not much I can do really, besides spend $15,000 on a real Slurpee machine, or $100 on one of those personal ones.

So, if you're listening 7-Eleven fat cats, may it be known that I am not happy with the current situation here in Sweden and feel that my needs are not being met. Damn you.

Permalink    Labels: Stockholm, Confusion, Slurpee, Food

Blatant strange English a la Engrish.com can be some pretty amusing stuff. However, when it comes to Europe and strange examples of English the above is a pretty good one. There is actually a logical, read illogical, reason for it.

The huge banner pictured above can be found at Arlanda Airport (Stockholm's main international airport) and hangs above the SAS check-in counters. Pictured are famous Swedes who, supposedly, make Stockholm their home. While the first part of the message, "We hope you have enjoyed our hometown.", is fine and dandy (albeit a bit like asking if someone enjoyed their dinner at a restaurant), the second part is where the problem is. You are, in effect, being goodbyed and then helloed in the same statement.

This mistake is actually fairly common in Sweden, although it is kind of amazing to see it at the international airport on permanent display. Small shop owners in the more touristy parts of town can get away with a small hand written sign on the inside of their shop doors, but this, this is kind of embarrassing. But, as I said, it does deserve some clarification.

In the Swedish language there is a two word phrase, välkommen åter, which translates as the equivalent of "We hope to see you again" or simply "Please come again". However, it directly translates to "welcome back". If it weren't for the fact that the literal translation becomes the complete opposite of the intended meaning things would probably be ok. Case in point, when this is found upon leaving a shop you are essentially being welcomed back to the real world outside and not to the shop itself...in the future.

This is the part of the show where someone who is Swedish gets really upset and says something like, "Hey, Stockgnome, your Swedish isn't perfect either and you say some really stupid things occasionally because you directly translate from English. Maybe you should shut up." That's fine, maybe I should. But, the point is: I don't make huge signs for international airports in Swedish. Then again, what if I did? What if that was my job. I know what I would do before I placed an order for a really expensive gigantic sign that would be seen by thousands of people everyday - I would have someone who had Swedish as their first language read it first and tell me if it made sense.

Permalink    Labels: Stockholm, Wackiness, Confusion

Permalink    Labels: Confusion, Stockholm, Wackiness, Food

I don't get this for so many different reasons. Firstly, I don't know why it is being built at the end of December when it's -9°C and there is a foot of snow on the ground. Secondly, I don't know why it has images on it to begin with. Thirdly, I don't understand how this got past the initial design phase to be built in this area of Stockholm. Lastly, I cannot figure out how the "story" on the building ends.

Let's go through this step by step starting at the top:
1) The guy gives the girl a star.
2) They fall in love sitting down.
3) They dance...and stuff...
4) She is preganant.
5) ???

We have a theory here at the office that he is taking care of the baby while she watches. From a bench, or toilet. We aren't really sure. Or that he is baking bread. Or packing his bags to go. Or making a sandwich and that she is waiting for the bus. I guess someone out there knows. I just want to know why?

If you are wondering where you can view this attraction in person, it is on Lugnets Allé in Hammarby Sjöstad south of Stockholm - or in the south of Stockholm depending on your politics.

Permalink    Labels: Stockholm, Confusion, Bad Architecture

I like to think that you can pretty much find humor in anything, case in point an ATM machine we used in Brussels over the summer.

For some reason whoever designed the graphic instructions for the CBC bank in Belgium really took it upon themselves to come up with something amusing. If only all ATM machines were like this, it would make dwindling your bank account so much easier...I actually had to remove the sound since we were laughing like a bunch of idiots watching the screen...

Permalink    Labels: Belgium, Confusion, Whackiness

I still believe that Twitter made a big mistake by not accepting Facebook's offer of a billion clams to take over their company. What was once a rather good idea is now hitting the threshold of its relevance. I know there are people that are still obscenely hooked on the service, but the likelihood that it will eventually become the next balloon to burst is becoming more and more likely. Case in point - an article in the latest Cap & Design (a Swedish design magazine, by designers, about designers and well, design.)

The article, entitled "Get Big on Twitter", leads the reader through the steps needed to get yourself noticed on Twitter. Here are just a few of the helpful tips they offer on how to succeed:

Prepare a photo, taken by a professional if possible, of your entire face.

Follow others who have a lot of followers with similar content as you. After that, follow their followers (they more than likely have the same interests as you.) Don't be embarrassed to add 500-600 people in the first few days. Better to add too many than too few.

In the beginning of your Twitter career you should follow as many people as possible so that they notice you.

Retweet people and imply to people you know that they should do the same every time they like a link that you post. Say thank you when you are mentioned.

Tweet during the same times that others do, otherwise they won't see what you have written.

If you have something important to say repeat it two or three times. Post a lot of pictures if you have done something extraordinary.

Add your Twitter address to your e-mail signature, on Facebook and everywhere else you can; as a sticker on your computer, printed on your business cards and write it on the office's whiteboard.

There are more, but I'm sure you get the point. Hard to believe, but there are people who not only do this but full on advocate it. Hear that? That sound is the death knell of a small blue bird.

Permalink    Labels: Confusion